Who would have thought that being mad can be so deliciously comforting?
I grew up in an ant colony, one of many actually in these woods. I can’t even count them anymore. We haven’t been disturbed by these mushroom-seeking bipeds called human. So the piles grow, another colony opens up. I have lost count of the queens at this point. In the end, just a few see them anyway.
I run around everyday, someone tells me what to do. And that ant gets told what to do by someone else. Well, the next one, you know where I am getting at.
I guess free will only existed as a concept in myself since the incident last week. I was on the way somewhere, lost in the way rather than thinking about the command itself. My antlers were doing more thinking than my brain, to be honest. You don’t need much of anything if you have learnt to keep your head down and just follow the path that is most trampled.
Focussing a bit too much on my antlers, I got lost. I did only realise it after I was in high grass and could not see where I came from or where I was going. What would you do in my position? Having been told what to do, never really thinking how and why. I didn’t even panic. I didn’t know there was such a thing as panic. So I did what I always do, I waited for a command.
I guess hours went by. Ants don’t wear watches. But the sun slowly disappeared. So I naturally got hungry. Luckily, the wall I was leaning on seemed to bit a bit squishy. It reminded me of the usual loot we bring back to the queen. So I took a bite.
A while later, I saw it. Everything. Light and darkness mixing. I saw the colony, the structure. I saw it from above and below. I was ant, loot, human. I was everything that ever lived and will live. My antlers became friends of mine. Friends became antlers showing me the way.
I became what I always was but never thought about. I was born,untouched. Full of experience, heading into a new form.
I ate raw. Why don’t you?
Unless you prefer to be cooked?