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Top of the top, is this it?
When climbing a mountain, one often reflects on the necessity of the exercise. The inexplicable reason why we want to reach higher ground cannot be fathomed by meek idealists. Deeper understanding is only gained by doing the work as often as it requires to do it easily, without breaking a sweat. Or so I’ve heard.
Only when the way is common knowledge, can even be walked with blindness of the night, it will become understood why we did it in the first place. Such a shame I am still out of breath reaching the peak.
Sometimes, when breezing up the steep incline, we are treated with a cold rain shower. Just to annoy a little further.
Soaked, I am standing on the top. Out of breath, knowing that I will go down and need to do the whole thing again.
See you next week.
That cloud looks like a turd.
Quiescence cannot be achieved, I have been told. I would argue they didn’t try.
Every single breath, every action, every thought, is laden with consequences for physical beings. Now I see that I am in a comfortable position. The brain-flatulences of PS are bound to have an impact, as long as they are being read of course. But they are monodirectial for me. I direct them at you, there might be a reaction, but I am here. Forever blissed by quiescence, as long as the weekly state is not due.
I know it is unfair, but metaphysical beings suffer the curse of enternity, not the one of the present.
And if I have learnt anything about human beings, it is that they very well understand what the curse of enternity means. It is forever (now this word is used ubiquitously, but I do mean eternity in this context) looking into the past and the future. A heavy burden. Now, why I know that humans do shoulder this burden as well, is the lack of consciousness of the moment. Some do try, some call it awareness. But escaping? Being quiescent? Humans do not want that, even if they could.
But if you want to feel what the burden of eternity is, be my guest. But see, I have the pleasure of attaining non-activity. Something, that gives me the power to unload this thought right here this moment, without having to suffer the reactions.
Welcome to my takeout stand, we have it all.
H: “Don´t break it, idiot!”
G: “I am not! Why don´t you back off a bit and let me try it? You had your turn.”
H: “Fine, go ahead then.”
G: “You called me and here I am. I usually don´t do this, just so you know. In most cases, people just keep getting stuck or choose a different one. So just appreciate it a little, man.”
H: “Yeah, yeah… but can´t you observe that all of the other ones have already been opened? They all have the same label, they all look the same, they all opened the same way. So this must be it.”
G: “Man, you don´t even know what you are looking for!”
H: “Of course I do!”
G: “Sure, just like the others that have shouted until I came.”
G continued to fidget around while H turned his back and watched out the window. The winds were carrying clouds through the sky and the conducter sat on his hill in the middle of the city.
H: “Why is the conductor always waving around his arms, even though there is no sound or even movement he is conducting?”
G: “Do NOT fuck around with the conductor, I am telling you! He was there way before any of us. I don´t even know how he got onto that hill. One time this one guy got drunk and tried to walk to him, but the conductor just opened his eyes, bent his thumb and the guy turned into slush.”
H watched the conductor and tried to interpret the signs he was signalling. There didn´t seem to be any coherent pattern. “Maybe he is just a mad guy”, thought H.
G: “He certainly is not. But you are all just too limited to see.”
H: “What´s that supposed to mean?”
G: “Well, 80-something years are just not enough.”
H cringed and waited for an answer by G. G did not explain any further and continued to work.
H: “Man, how long is this taking? I thought you are supposed to open all of these regularly?”
G: “Everyone thinks that. But they just keep calling me. So usually I just sit back because it will open itself at some point. Sometimes with force, sometimes not. But in any case, they thank me as if it was my doing. To be honest, the conductor probably works more than I do. And he is doing it with closed eyes. He could be sleeping or dreaming, for all I know.”
H looked around the room. There was dust everyone and empty beer bottles. He couldn´t even remember for how long he was trying to open that thing. He didn´t eat, didn´t sleep, didn´t go out or meet anyone. It could have been years. Although probably, it was just a couple of days.
G: “There you go, maybe it´s working now.”
H stepped closer to the wall and pulled. The whole front broke off.
H: “The whole thing broke!”
G: “Well, you are the one who desperately wanted to open it. The only option was force now.”
H: “Know-it-all.”
He looked deep into the cavity that missed the front cover.
H: “What the fuck is this? Are you kidding me?”
G: “What? I didn´t put it there.”
H grabbed into the drawer and pulled out a watch.
H: “This is it?”
But G was already gone. H looked at the watch. It was counting up, continuously ticking. He checked the label of the drawer again.
“SOLUTION”.
With his back turned against the wall and with the watch in hand, he slid down to the ground. From the middle of the village, you could hear the conductor laughing out loud.
And here we leave our protagonist. Please enjoy the following soundtrack as the conductor sits on the hill, waving his arms, laughing.
20 choices ahead of me, 2 for me. 1 to be the final one.
Life is limited. Everything that blooms, will become brown at some point. Whatever conclusion you draw from this, is up to you. Will you become a nihilist, a purist, a hedonist? Will you be joining the growing and misused cult of Stoics that has been dragged down the dark alley of social media and left there until it did not resemble Marcus Aurelius meditations anymore?
Life is limited and ultimately, so are your choices. Being taught that all alleys are open is a stroke of genius. However not by discovering this for yourself, but by the marketing industry. Just collect enough material wealth to shape the version of yourself you have ever wanted.
Yet, there you are, spinning aimlessly on the pottery plate of life.
Do not get Papa wrong, it is a virtue to aspire for greater things. As of now, I am aspiring to be able to move beyond these two choices that I have. In fact, I am aware of the limits and these ones are not even set by life. They are set by me. Who’s the purist now?
But have you ever wondered whether there are only the choices you see? Have you ever considered closing the menu of choices in life? What if you just put the menu down and stared at the waiter of your life, the enabler of your choice, the bringer of consequences and say:
“I’ll have the falafel.”