20 choices ahead of me, 2 for me. 1 to be the final one.

Life is limited. Everything that blooms, will become brown at some point. Whatever conclusion you draw from this, is up to you. Will you become a nihilist, a purist, a hedonist? Will you be joining the growing and misused cult of Stoics that has been dragged down the dark alley of social media and left there until it did not resemble Marcus Aurelius meditations anymore?

Life is limited and ultimately, so are your choices. Being taught that all alleys are open is a stroke of genius. However not by discovering this for yourself, but by the marketing industry. Just collect enough material wealth to shape the version of yourself you have ever wanted.

Yet, there you are, spinning aimlessly on the pottery plate of life.

Do not get Papa wrong, it is a virtue to aspire for greater things. As of now, I am aspiring to be able to move beyond these two choices that I have. In fact, I am aware of the limits and these ones are not even set by life. They are set by me. Who’s the purist now?

But have you ever wondered whether there are only the choices you see? Have you ever considered closing the menu of choices in life? What if you just put the menu down and stared at the waiter of your life, the enabler of your choice, the bringer of consequences and say:

“I’ll have the falafel.”

One step, one movement, one nervous flatulence, off I pop.

Eric had been well-fed. Cared for and adored. Some might say, spoiled. Now, Eric was faced with reality. Before this day, he had never looked further than the ground he was sitting on. Never ventured beyond the edges, never even wondered what might be there. Food, care, love. All was a given, he didn’t know it any better.

There are some days that change one’s life. And on most of these days, you will wake up just the same way you did yesterday. You probably will not see it coming, and it might be the very hand that fed you, which will lead you to the edge. At least, in Eric’s case.

This very hand decided that today, Eric would see what is beyond. The form and shape of this hand is very different for Eric than it would be for you or me. It might even be your own, maybe you’re lucky enough.

Eric stood on the edge of the nest. He understood that there would not be any more food dropping from the skies into the nest. He was hesitant, but eager. Nervously, he crouched to the very edge and for the first time, he saw the abyss. The endless sky, the vastness of everything. His legs trembled.

“How could I not see the edge?”

He stepped forward, spread his wings, he plunged down. Eagerly.

When waiting becomes meditation, you have surpassed the wait.

The first time your dead PS is combining two states, two weeks, unifying water and fire! Well, not really. But still, a novelty, at least for these two weeks.

Like a ninja I have breezed through the weeks, floating on my own thoughts. Sneakily waiting, for anything to come. Many of you might think that waiting needs to be for something. Does it really? Shouldn’t waiting be sufficient in conveying a message? Why does everything need to be have a purpose, a reason or goal? Why are humans frantically searching for a reason and entangle themselves into the wildest fantasies, religions and stress? Sometimes, there is no explanation. Sometimes, there is no reason for waiting. Still, I am waiting. And to not upset the fragile human mind, I do it sneakily. And you know what? I am proud.

I have been travelling for years, I have seen the universe and everything else it can offer. I am the son of gas, the outburst of unimaginable energy.

For years I have waited to reach my destiny, continually seeking, travelling, preparing myself. Unknown of my definite purpose, only with a direction ahead of me, I am a pioneer. Many have been there before, but I will change something in my own way.

I am accompanied by my peers, countless others. Nonetheless, I will have the impact I deserve.

I am a ray of sunshine. I can warm you, I can burn you. I will come for you, I will bring the light.

I am radiant.

The street is cobbled and my knees are wobbly.

If this isn’t another tune, recommended by dear old Papa Shanghai. Oh how far I have fallen, leaving this void of unheard voices without a signal of life from myself. I need to excuse myself, I was staring very very closely at something that I have found to be strange.

If I had a microscope for humans, I might know what makes them act the way they do. But I don’t. So here I float, trying to come as close as possible. Offbeat, thanks to my new friend, the tune.

Beauty can be found in tranquility, wisdom in observation, kindness in touch, reflection in solitude. One needs to be able to accept the hurt, with all its consequences, to receive bliss.

Upon observing all these fleshy structures, I find all strains of emotions. Nobody is void. So I ask myself, should I let this void in which I am shouting, be filled by a genuine voice?

Truly this week and a half, I have found myself, observing. You, me, everything in between.