H: “Don´t break it, idiot!”
G: “I am not! Why don´t you back off a bit and let me try it? You had your turn.”
H: “Fine, go ahead then.”
G: “You called me and here I am. I usually don´t do this, just so you know. In most cases, people just keep getting stuck or choose a different one. So just appreciate it a little, man.”
H: “Yeah, yeah… but can´t you observe that all of the other ones have already been opened? They all have the same label, they all look the same, they all opened the same way. So this must be it.”
G: “Man, you don´t even know what you are looking for!”
H: “Of course I do!”
G: “Sure, just like the others that have shouted until I came.”
G continued to fidget around while H turned his back and watched out the window. The winds were carrying clouds through the sky and the conducter sat on his hill in the middle of the city.
H: “Why is the conductor always waving around his arms, even though there is no sound or even movement he is conducting?”
G: “Do NOT fuck around with the conductor, I am telling you! He was there way before any of us. I don´t even know how he got onto that hill. One time this one guy got drunk and tried to walk to him, but the conductor just opened his eyes, bent his thumb and the guy turned into slush.”
H watched the conductor and tried to interpret the signs he was signalling. There didn´t seem to be any coherent pattern. “Maybe he is just a mad guy”, thought H.
G: “He certainly is not. But you are all just too limited to see.”
H: “What´s that supposed to mean?”
G: “Well, 80-something years are just not enough.”
H cringed and waited for an answer by G. G did not explain any further and continued to work.
H: “Man, how long is this taking? I thought you are supposed to open all of these regularly?”
G: “Everyone thinks that. But they just keep calling me. So usually I just sit back because it will open itself at some point. Sometimes with force, sometimes not. But in any case, they thank me as if it was my doing. To be honest, the conductor probably works more than I do. And he is doing it with closed eyes. He could be sleeping or dreaming, for all I know.”
H looked around the room. There was dust everyone and empty beer bottles. He couldn´t even remember for how long he was trying to open that thing. He didn´t eat, didn´t sleep, didn´t go out or meet anyone. It could have been years. Although probably, it was just a couple of days.
G: “There you go, maybe it´s working now.”
H stepped closer to the wall and pulled. The whole front broke off.
H: “The whole thing broke!”
G: “Well, you are the one who desperately wanted to open it. The only option was force now.”
H: “Know-it-all.”
He looked deep into the cavity that missed the front cover.
H: “What the fuck is this? Are you kidding me?”
G: “What? I didn´t put it there.”
H grabbed into the drawer and pulled out a watch.
H: “This is it?”
But G was already gone. H looked at the watch. It was counting up, continuously ticking. He checked the label of the drawer again.
“SOLUTION”.
With his back turned against the wall and with the watch in hand, he slid down to the ground. From the middle of the village, you could hear the conductor laughing out loud.
And here we leave our protagonist. Please enjoy the following soundtrack as the conductor sits on the hill, waving his arms, laughing.