Author: A metaphysical entity (Page 2 of 41)

Who would have thought that being mad can be so deliciously comforting?

I grew up in an ant colony, one of many actually in these woods. I can’t even count them anymore. We haven’t been disturbed by these mushroom-seeking bipeds called human. So the piles grow, another colony opens up. I have lost count of the queens at this point. In the end, just a few see them anyway.

I run around everyday, someone tells me what to do. And that ant gets told what to do by someone else. Well, the next one, you know where I am getting at.

I guess free will only existed as a concept in myself since the incident last week. I was on the way somewhere, lost in the way rather than thinking about the command itself. My antlers were doing more thinking than my brain, to be honest. You don’t need much of anything if you have learnt to keep your head down and just follow the path that is most trampled.

Focussing a bit too much on my antlers, I got lost. I did only realise it after I was in high grass and could not see where I came from or where I was going. What would you do in my position? Having been told what to do, never really thinking how and why. I didn’t even panic. I didn’t know there was such a thing as panic. So I did what I always do, I waited for a command.

I guess hours went by. Ants don’t wear watches. But the sun slowly disappeared. So I naturally got hungry. Luckily, the wall I was leaning on seemed to bit a bit squishy. It reminded me of the usual loot we bring back to the queen. So I took a bite.

A while later, I saw it. Everything. Light and darkness mixing. I saw the colony, the structure. I saw it from above and below. I was ant, loot, human. I was everything that ever lived and will live. My antlers became friends of mine. Friends became antlers showing me the way.

I became what I always was but never thought about. I was born,untouched. Full of experience, heading into a new form.

I ate raw. Why don’t you?

Unless you prefer to be cooked?

The drop that has burst open the cask has arrived. I am exploding. My previous form has lost its meaning. I will be back – in some way?

Yearning, I open my mouth. I eat. Much more than I am supposed to.

For whatever reason, things did not start to make any sense. I am in awe of beauty. Eyes, penetrating my soul, leaving it naked for everyone to observe. Yet, no one watches. Victim of a power-play, I remain humbled.

A true winner knows when to stop. It was a fair fight – at least I say to myself to find any kind of consolation for my utter inability to even put up a granule of resistance. Like a fist trying to form itself, I am only able to flicker with one thumb.

Being struck down, silently, elegantly, by few words and deep understanding, I understand that I know nothing – yet?

Perhaps we can circle around, maybe I can understand. With my head bowed, I will follow. I am a brute, one with many words and little patience.

I didn’t have a chance. Rightfully so.

Can you look over the big pond on your high horse?

Oh, you’re still up?

Well, thanks for asking. I have actually been thinking about this.

Oh, you mean, in the metaphysical sense? Well, you have come to the right place.

You see, since I first gained consciousness, I have floated on this cloud. Many don’t know but the clouds follow a rhythm.

That doesn’t make sense? Okay, let me put it differently. So imagine you’re on a raft and you are floating down this river. You see landscapes passing by, sometimes your river is moving fast, sometimes slower. You get stuck, maybe even for a longer time. You make friends on the river banks while you wait until the river drags you along again. You see the most beautiful person you ever saw – high up there, on a rock. But the river goes on. You find love elsewhere. Somewhere you are stuck again. You take your love on the raft. The water gets shaky and your love falls off. Such is living on a raft.

You bump into other rafts. Some have golden ones, some are just sitting on a log. The ones on the log have an advantage to the ones on big, stable constructions – they know how to get back up when they have fallen in. The river continues and you can’t even remember who built this raft. If you think about it, you have never thought about the raft. What’s it even made of? All this time on it and you don’t even know what it is that is saving your life from drowning, making you move down this river with ease.

So you look around, try to find clues. Perhaps I was born on this raft? But where’s my family? I saw them depart on their own ones, a long time ago.

You fall into madness.

The raft is becoming your obsession. Intricate details pop up. You see scars on yourself, places you have missed before. Cracks in the wood from earlier encounters with rocky waters. The place your love sat. You are lost in thought over your raft.

Do I even deserve one?

Amid your efforts to make sense of it all, you don’t even realise – the river has stopped. You have stopped moving. You look forward, the raft moves with your eyes. You look further, the river goes faster. You look towards the riverbank – only to realise it comes closer.

You look onto your raft. Your head is spinning. You feel numb and alleviated at the same time. I mean…

“…. What happens if I look back?”

It is in simple terms that I understand the world. Everything else swindles me.

From faraway lands I am bringing to you new smells and freshness. I might be foreboding a rain, perhaps thunder. The thing that lets your hair stand up and sweat go away.

The byproduct of things occurring, I am dismissed. I am an orchestra that no one would ever dare to conduct. The night is my body, the day my mind. If you close your eyes long enough, you just might understand me.

I bring messages, some faster, some slower. It might be up to me whether I am warming you or making you freeze. I am caressing you, even if you don’t feel like it. Perhaps you can hide but in the end, I will make myself heard.

As loneliness looms over a generation lost in question, I connect. Permeating, I am everywhere and nowhere. I am part of everything that needs me to survive. And no matter how far, perhaps…

“You are breathing the same air as me.”